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"I have to center myself": Olivia meets Arj Barker

Have you ever met the Conchords? Share your stories here.

by liverz » Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:58 am

OKAY! Don't know why I haven't posted this yet, but I met Arj Barker last month on the 23rd at his show at the Punch Line Comedy Club in Sacramento and made a complete freak of myself because I can't control my weirdness (and I know this sounds weird, but I've matured a lot in these last few weeks and am a much cooler and calmer person... so I feel like I could handle this much better now, so it sucks a bit on top of sucking already, BUT I DIGRESS)

Here's my tale (cut and paste because I'm too lazy to rewrite it again, so if you've seen this before *cough cough* Haley *cough cough* bear with me! And ignore the fact that it was written for lesser beings who don't know who Arj Barker is... those poor souls.):

My friends and I got there an hour before the doors even opened, because we're awesome like that. We wanted to make sure we would get the best seats EVA, so we showed up at a time we thought was appropriate to get some up front and center action. We'd never been to a show at Punch Line, which is on the second floor of a strip mall-esque shopping center, right above a nail salon and next to a Sleep Train store. So, in other words, pretty much the BEST, most crazy-legit comedy club I have ever heard of. Haha!

Okay, so we get let in at 7:30 and get to sit very close (unfortunately, the closest seats are for parties of two, so we had to sit behind the people right in front of the stage, so that was unfortunate, but good at the same time because baby Jesus knows I would have been freaking out if the comedians had tried to use me in their jokes during the show (I DON'T THINK WELL ON MY FEET UNDER PRESSURE). I ordered a Monster to get some energy juice flowing through my body (and to dehydrate me for later, as I'm realizing right now that I feel like I have a desert living inside my body).

My friends and I chatted for about fifty minutes or so, when I looked over my friends should towards the bar, and who should be standing there but Arj himself! It was WAAAAY trippy... I mean, I had been watching this guy on a TV show fanatically for a while, and had scene most everything youtube had to offer of his comedy acts, and he was standing literally less than four yards from me!! My friends and I were all so excited!!!

Anyway, the show started a few minutes after he popped out. He wasn't the first to go, as the headliner, so we got to see a couple other guys first. Alex Koll went first, and I'd say his spot ran for about ten minutes. He was okay. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect, so I didn't laugh as much as I could have.

Next was Brent Weinbach. Now let me tell you, this guy is CRAZY HILARIOUS. He acts completely insane!! I would absolutely go see him do another show if he ever comes around again! WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL. I wish we could have talked to him a bit, but everyone was in a hurry to skiddadle at the end, but that's later.

ANYWAY! Next was Arj! He was amazing! I feel like his set went on for an hour or something, which totally surprised me! He must have gone through every joke possible! He had to consult the black book (LOVE, yes to looking at notes on stage) because we were going through jokes so fast (we were "ravenous" according to him). I wish I could just go through the entire thing right here, but that would be long and ridiculous. Highlights were things like when he was running out of things to talk about and this one guy shouted out "Health food!" and he was like, "I think you should really talk to the wait staff about that one. This is the Punch Line Comedy Club, not... the magical room where whatever you want appears if you yell it out loud!" Then another guy yelled "Marijuana!" and then Arj was like, "Okay. Why don't we just yell 'BLOW JOBS!'?" and we all started laughing like crazy. I don't know why it was so funny, but it just was. When a man yells BLOW JOBS at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason (well... besides the obvious one), it is a beautiful thing.

Er... other stuff was funny too. It was great, because everytime a joke did so-so or whatever, he made jokes about our reactions. Adlibbing probably gave us some of the funniest stuff. He also talked Erin during the show when he wanted to talk about Ireland. He asked if anyone was from there, and she woohooed a little, so he asked her if she was from there, which she wasn't, but her family was, so he apologized for the innacuracy of his accent for his next joke, in which he was going to impersonate an Irish person. He did an Indian accent. HAHA!

SO MANY GOOD JOKES. He is honestly just freaking amazing and I loved being five feet away from him during the show. SO ATTRACTIVE, too. I wish I was crazy-hot/sexy/not young and uncomfortable because DAYUM, if I wouldn't have put the moves on him if I was someone completely different than myself!

Well, the show ended and everyone was happy. We waited a while before going outside (we figured that if everyone cleared out, we'd have more time to Arj... and we were just nervous to go outside and talk to him). HOWEVER, he was in a hurry and wanted to get out of there pretty soon because he was going to have to wake up at 4 the next day to take a flight or something sad (as my friend asked him when he looked like he was getting antsy to leave). So we jumped in there and had little bit of time with him... which went as follows:

MY FRIENDS MADE ME TALK FIRST BECAUSE THEY HATE ME. They must forget that I get extremely weird or something, because why the hell would they ever let me go near someone I know a bit too much about?!

Me: Whew. (Hand motions over face in a centering motion) I need to just... gather myself really quick.
Arj: (Probably extremely disturbed/frightened/God knows) I like to consult the ball of fire (looking down at crumpled plastic in his hands).
Me: You were great. (Something like that. DUMB STUFF)

No idea what transpired for a moment.

Me: We were really excited that you talked to her during the show (gesturing to my friend)
Erin: I was the Irish girl.
Arj: Oh yeah. Did you see them touring? Haha.
(Generation gap confuses Erin over this joke. I think we were all confused. We got a picture with him then, I think)
Richie: Olivia, you look terrible in this picture.
(I am offended. Thank you for insulting me in front of greatness, Richie.)
Me: Can I get you to sign some stuff?
Arj: Sure.
Me: There are a few things... I brought my whole arsenal with me.
Arj: Okay.
(Gets Flight of the Conchords DVD out)
Arj: You've got the DVD? Okay.
(Signs the inside.)

I'm happy to report that the little DVD holder ma-bobs broke of temporarily, which was rather LOVELY. He had to put it back together after he popped them out. I can tell people that Arj Barker dismantled my DVD case now. WOOT. Inside he wrote "Arj Barker, XOXO", so I take this as a sign that he loves me. Just kidding. He doodled on my arm a bit by accident. I must have been standing ridiculously close. I don't know why. HAHA. Next, I handed him a bandana, because that's how I roll. He signed it "Lonely, Arj Barker".

Arj: I'm thinking of getting these made so that they say "Lonely" on one side and "Legend" on the other side and selling them.
Me: Oh, I would definitely buy one if you do. Please do.

He was about to peace out when my guy friends got a quick picture with him too, then he went back inside and told us that he hoped we'd come see another show, and we all said we would, then we left. We went out to my car and waited a few minutes to see him leave the building in typical weirdo fashion. We got to see him take a murse to a silver car, then we got freaked out by our own stalkerness and drove away. I should have driven by slower... we could have got his license. HAHA. JUST KIDDING.

I'm way bummed that he was in such a hurry, though! He was so nice... I think that us feeling rushed led to my temporary insanity (though I honestly wasn't as crazy or afraid as I thought I'd be... he's really, REALLY nice, so he's not a scary person to talk to). I wanted to ask him about Marin, where he lives, because I was literally JUST THERE two days ago. I probably saw him and had no idea. WOO!

Anyway! If you ever get a chance to see him, DO IT. He is really hilarious and lovely and not Dave-like at all. I want to go see him again and talk to him when he's not halfway out the door already. And not have to center myself. HAHA. Thank God he won't remember this in a week. If I meet him again, it'll be a fresh start. Unless he magically remembers me. Doubt it.

HOT HOT HOT man. So attractive. BEST NIGHT EVER. I'm really bummed it's over, and I had a hard time sleeping because I was so tossy-turny saddish/regretful that it had all already happened and that we didn't get to do or say everything we had planned (WE WANTED A GROUP BIRD PICTURE). Next time... next time.


And there you go. MOST EMBARRASSING TEENY-BOPPER MOMENT OF MY LIFE. And I'm not even a teeny-bopper!! WHO NEEDS THE JONAS BROTHERS, I SAY! ;)

Here are da pics:

[image]
How close we were...

[image]
To Arj and the stage in general... that's the mic...

[image]
The boys and Arj's promo pic... the boy on the right is the one that called me ugly. Send him hate mail.

[image]
The bros and Arj. I like to pretend that he looks less happy in this picture because he hates Richie for calling me ugly and secretly wants to punch him in the face.

[image]
And me and my friend Erin. I'm on the left. WOO.
liverz
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by sharona65 » Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:11 am

yis. i'm a loser who went straight to your pics before reading the story. it's late and blah blah blah....i promise i'll come back and read it later..... BUT! about your pics..

holy shii! that boy called you ugly?!?!?! #1- HARSH! cuz you're gorgeous!! #B- (<--yis, #1 and #B) he's not exactly a prize piece himself, ewww.

homagod you lucky girl for being so close to the stage during the show!! and you and your friend erin are looking super cute there with arj!!! ;D yaaayyy!!!
sharona65
 

by thedistantfuture » Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:18 am

Lol Olivia,thanks for the cough cough part...although I did read it again! And I didn't see those photos before. YOU ARE ARJ SHOULD MAKE HOT CURRY BABIES.
thedistantfuture
 

by LadyinRed » Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:23 am

OMG Olivia! I've read this story before! You have a DA page don't you? I've been stalking your Arj stuffs! :D :D :D

Lonely Arj! lol He is a silly boy! Yet sooooo adorable!! *squeels*

I agree with you that he looks less happy in the picture with the boys! Shameful! You are a very pretty girl,... and trust me, Arj noticed! lol




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by liverz » Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:03 am


LadyinRed wrote:OMG Olivia! I've read this story before! You have a DA page don't you? I've been stalking your Arj stuffs! :D :D :D

Lonely Arj! lol He is a silly boy! Yet sooooo adorable!! *squeels*

I agree with you that he looks less happy in the picture with the boys! Shameful! You are a very pretty girl,... and trust me, Arj noticed! lol




YISSS! I do!! Hahaha! HOW FUNNEH! It's awesome when that happens!!

I seriously should probably do some more FOTC art... I actually start them and don't finish. BUT I AM INSPIRED NOW! WOOT! ;D

And thank you. I'm hoping he really despised Richie and did think I was cute. Unless he couldn't see my clearly since I was being a totaly space invader and standing pretty much on top of him. Argh. Haha! ;D
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by liverz » Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:05 am


thedistantfuture wrote:Lol Olivia,thanks for the cough cough part...although I did read it again! And I didn't see those photos before. YOU ARE ARJ SHOULD MAKE HOT CURRY BABIES.


WOOO! MY CHILDREN WILL BE FIVE HUNDRED TIMES TANNER THAN ME! And if you don't think that's possible, I am pretty dang pale, so... yup. ;D

And I'm going to fo sho take pictures of my signed stuff today and add them on!!!
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by liverz » Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:07 am


sharona65 wrote:yis. i'm a loser who went straight to your pics before reading the story. it's late and blah blah blah....i promise i'll come back and read it later..... BUT! about your pics..

holy shii! that boy called you ugly?!?!?! #1- HARSH! cuz you're gorgeous!! #B- (<--yis, #1 and #B) he's not exactly a prize piece himself, ewww.

homagod you lucky girl for being so close to the stage during the show!! and you and your friend erin are looking super cute there with arj!!! ;D yaaayyy!!!


EEE! ;D

Thank you!! It makes me feel better to hate on his meanness. He told me I acted like a total freak as soon as I'd gotten in the car too. He just was jealous because he was too afraid to make any sort of conversation and I at least tried. SO NYAAAH, mean boy!!!

SHMANKS! ;D
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by shianne517 » Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:29 pm


liverz wrote:
sharona65 wrote:yis. i'm a loser who went straight to your pics before reading the story. it's late and blah blah blah....i promise i'll come back and read it later..... BUT! about your pics..

holy shii! that boy called you ugly?!?!?! #1- HARSH! cuz you're gorgeous!! #B- (<--yis, #1 and #B) he's not exactly a prize piece himself, ewww.

homagod you lucky girl for being so close to the stage during the show!! and you and your friend erin are looking super cute there with arj!!! ;D yaaayyy!!!


EEE! ;D

Thank you!! It makes me feel better to hate on his meanness. He told me I acted like a total freak as soon as I'd gotten in the car too. He just was jealous because he was too afraid to make any sort of conversation and I at least tried. SO NYAAAH, mean boy!!!

SHMANKS! ;D



That boy that called you ugly is goin down. Give me his address!!
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by thedistantfuture » Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:04 pm


liverz wrote:
thedistantfuture wrote:Lol Olivia,thanks for the cough cough part...although I did read it again! And I didn't see those photos before. YOU ARE ARJ SHOULD MAKE HOT CURRY BABIES.


WOOO! MY CHILDREN WILL BE FIVE HUNDRED TIMES TANNER THAN ME! And if you don't think that's possible, I am pretty dang pale, so... yup. ;D

And I'm going to fo sho take pictures of my signed stuff today and add them on!!!

WOO! Well,tanner isn't a bad thing. I am quite pale as well.

I wonder if I should post about me meeting Rhys in this section...eh,nah. It's not that interesting of a story as yours is.hahaha
thedistantfuture
 

by liverz » Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:50 pm


shianne517 wrote:
liverz wrote:

EEE! ;D

Thank you!! It makes me feel better to hate on his meanness. He told me I acted like a total freak as soon as I'd gotten in the car too. He just was jealous because he was too afraid to make any sort of conversation and I at least tried. SO NYAAAH, mean boy!!!

SHMANKS! ;D



That boy that called you ugly is goin down. Give me his address!!


BWAHA!

It's okay. I already got back at him by telling him that I got Arj's phone number (I WISH). He totally believes it too. Hee hee hee.
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by liverz » Sun Aug 10, 2008 4:07 pm


thedistantfuture wrote:
liverz wrote:

WOOO! MY CHILDREN WILL BE FIVE HUNDRED TIMES TANNER THAN ME! And if you don't think that's possible, I am pretty dang pale, so... yup. ;D

And I'm going to fo sho take pictures of my signed stuff today and add them on!!!

WOO! Well,tanner isn't a bad thing. I am quite pale as well.

I wonder if I should post about me meeting Rhys in this section...eh,nah. It's not that interesting of a story as yours is.hahaha


WOOT FOR THE PALE FOLK! Let us not feel weak in the presence of those with robust tans!

DO IT! Who cares?! Any story involving the FOTC crew is interesting to me!! And the picture! And the "big" camera!! It's all good!

Oh, and here are the pics of my stuff!!

[image]
Got my DVD signed on the inside. When I gave him it to sign, he said, "Oh, so they didn't put me on the cover." ;D

[image]
And my bandana, which he is going to manufacture. ;)

And here's a weird little photoshoot:

[image]
Crazy weird face. Holding the DVD.

[image]
Wearing the bandana, plus pretend cleavage. I have a lot of makeup on because I am going clubbing, not because I am a prostitute.

[image]
And of course... Guys are attracted to lonely chicks. It's a psychological analogy. ;D
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by shianne517 » Sun Aug 10, 2008 4:28 pm


liverz wrote:
thedistantfuture wrote:
WOO! Well,tanner isn't a bad thing. I am quite pale as well.

I wonder if I should post about me meeting Rhys in this section...eh,nah. It's not that interesting of a story as yours is.hahaha


[image]
And of course... Guys are attracted to lonely chicks. It's a psychological analogy. ;D


This pic is hilarious!

I don't think anyone is paler than me. I practically transparent.
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by LadyinRed » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:36 pm

That last picture = classic! lol
I want one of those bandana's! I'll add a pic to the "Lonely Flighty" club ;)


(I'm just here breaking my own rules, Ami! *waves* :D)
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by Amily » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:47 pm

Aww Luisa, I'm glad you're breaking your own rules today. It makes me viry happy. :)

Oh and Liv... love your last pic! Too funny! ;D
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by thedistantfuture » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:57 pm

OLIVIA IF YOU DON'T DECIDE TO MAKE BABIES WITH ARJ,WE NEED TO. YOU ARE 10 TIMES HOTTER THAN A CURRY!

and MAYBE i'll post my rhys story...maybe...but everyone has basically already heard it because of the 1st national international new zealand day thread.
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